


undeniably illogical;

by prouveyrac



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, and my second time writing roman and virgil as wingmen, pining!logan, this is my second time writing logicality confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 17:13:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13956264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prouveyrac/pseuds/prouveyrac
Summary: Most of all though, what terrified Logan -more than the irrationality of feelings, more than the thought of losing himself- was that, for once, he was faced with a problem that he didn’t know how to solve. To feel something for someone, for Patton of all people, was a realm that Logan very rarely ventured into. Now that he was in it, he didn’t know how to navigate it and find a way out. Even more terrifying, he didn’t know if he wanted to find a way out. Patton was everything warm and supportive, and Logan found himself basking in his radiance, relieved to finally have the comfort and security that he didn’t realize he desired until he had a taste of it.





	undeniably illogical;

Logan, of all four of the Sides, was not the _ feelings _ type. He didn’t particularly  _ do _ feelings; they weren’t a key aspect of who he was. Feelings went more-so hand-in-hand with Patton, who was the heart and all its touchy human emotions, and Roman, who was every fanciful dream and hope that Thomas could have. Even Virgil was more feelings than Logan, because, despite Virgil not having such exaggerated eccentricities, he was still every suspicious and anxious feeling felt.

Therefore, that left Logan as the levelheaded mediator. He sifted through the nonsense and was the one to look at a situation objectively. When they all were faced with a problem, it was Logan’s job to find the correct, logical solution with nothing emotionally-charged tacked on. He guided Virgil through his anxieties by presenting facts to combat his worries, Roman through his dream-laced hopes by presenting the realities (even if they were harsh), and Patton through his times of high and intense emotion by presenting the truths in their lives that demonstrate that, yes, situations can improve.

Logan accepted his role among the four of them and knew that he had to live with being the stoic one. It typically wasn’t an issue. Even if Logan was faced with a personal problem, the others were usually dealing with something much worse, which meant that Logan had to help even out their emotions and work methodically through whatever problem that was sitting on their shoulders.

Completely hypothetical, of course, but even if Logan was faced with the problem of  _ feeling something _ , he would have to swallow it down anyway because  _ feeling things _ was not who he was. Even if he wanted to look at something with a more emotionally-charged viewpoint, it would only further add to his stress to have such a drastic change in who he was, who he was supposed to be.

(Completely hypothetical, of course.)

Then, however, _ Patton _ began to happen. No matter how much he tried, Logan realized that he could no longer look at Patton with only objectivity. Patton, sweet Patton, compassionate Patton… how could Logan look at him with anything but subjectivity? Patton, who cared for Logan and looked out for his well-being, even in times when Logan didn’t quite deserve it. Patton, who stood as a beam of comfort and positivity when the rest of them were shaken to the core by the manipulation Deceit had put onto them. Patton, who tried his hardest to listen to what Logan had to offer when it seemed like everyone else wished he would be silent (again). 

Logan looked to Patton with a certain type of fondness that threw objectivity out the window and let subjectivity in, along with thoughts that fit more into Roman’s room and plans for how to properly work through his thoughts and receive a proper “happy ending”.

That subjectivity, however, was illogical. And that terrified Logan. Subjectivity was everything Logan was not. And if he started to become what he wasn’t, then who was he? What was the point of being Logic if he could not stick to his core values? Roman was the one who dealt with a racing pulse and a pounding heart, the one who dealt with fanciful illusions of people fitting together neatly because of (non scientific) chemistry, not Logan.

Most of all though, what terrified Logan -more than the irrationality of feelings, more than the thought of losing himself- was that, for once, he was faced with a problem that he didn’t know how to solve. To feel something for someone, for  _ Patton  _ of all people, was a realm that Logan very rarely ventured into. Now that he was in it, he didn’t know how to navigate it and find a way out. Even more terrifying, he didn’t know if he wanted to find a way out. Patton was everything warm and supportive, and Logan found himself basking in his radiance, relieved to finally have the comfort and security that he didn’t realize he desired until he had a taste of it.

Which lead to another problem: Logan, now feeling something that felt like fluttering in his heart, had no clue what he was doing. Logic had no clue what he was doing. The physical embodiment of problem solving had no clue how to solve this particular problem.

Logan, who was sitting at his desk with a whiteboard laid in front of him, crossed off  _ Ask Roman for help _ . It was the fourth time he had written the suggestion down only to cross it out. To ask Roman for help somehow simultaneously was probably the best and worst thing Logan could do. On one hand, Roman was Creativity, along with Thomas’ romantic and fanciful side. If anyone knew how to navigate romance, it was Roman. On the other hand, however, it was Roman and Roman, for lack of a better word in this time of stress, was very extra. Logan didn’t know if he could count on Roman to give him sound advice, let alone keep his mouth shut around Patton.

But Roman could probably give better advice than Logan could think of.

But it was Roman.

But Roman knew what to do in these types of situations.

But it was _ Roman. _ Don’t get him wrong, Logan was very close with the fanciful side, he just didn’t think he could handle Roman’s eccentricities at the moment.

But that only left-

Logan almost sent the whiteboard flying off his desk when there was sudden loud, quick pounding on his door. “Hey Specs, open up!” None other than Roman called on the other side.

Logan steadied himself, taking a deep, slow breath. If he was going to face Roman and  _ not  _ mention his situation, he had to maintain the facade that everything Logan thought he knew about himself was being burnt to the ground. Metaphorically, of course. At least Logan hoped that it remained metaphorical; if his room, the Center for Logic, was set ablaze, he was sure he would be, to quote Virgil, “thoroughly fucked”.

He finally stood and approached his door. His hand hesitated on the doorknob before pulling it open. Roman stood there with a grin and, behind him, Logan’s next worse option after Roman, Virgil.

Logan mentally ran through multiple expletives as he forced a smile onto his face. “Do you two require something?”

Virgil shrugged. “Just here for a chat,” he said, and it probably wasn’t anything foreboding, but Logan, in his state, took it as very ominous.

Still, Logan arched an eyebrow. “About what?” he cautiously asked.

Roman was beaming and leaned back on his heels before pushing himself up on his toes. He was too excited for Logan to let his guard down. “Let us in and we’ll tell you,” he said.

Logan narrowed his eyes as they flicked between the two before him. He had a feeling that they weren’t just here for a casual chat, but he also believed that to bar them from his room would make things more suspicious. Finally, he let out a resigned sigh and took a step back, opening up his door wider so that they could walk through.

Roman might as well have skipped into Logan’s room as Virgil followed slowly in behind him. Virgil gave Logan a steady look that he only returned.

“So,” Logan said as he shut the door behind the three of them. “What is it?”

Roman still had a wide grin on his face. “Me and Virgil here were feeling a lot of feelings,” he said. 

“We should probably mention that they were feelings that weren’t ours,” Virgil added on.

Logan’s heart might as well have leapt up to his throat. He should’ve expected this to happen. An abundance of anything -analytical thinking, worry, dreaming, heightened emotions- was bound to alert the governing side. As his own fanciful thoughts and worries increased in their intensity, Roman and Virgil would have felt them more and more, and would have realized that they were not the ones feeling them.

Logan cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses. “Oh?” he questioned, trying to act as oblivious as he could. “Would you care to explain?”

“Well,” Roman began. “It started with me. I suddenly started getting all these overwhelming thoughts of hopes and dreams and fantasies and, I mean, yes, I am the dreamy, fantasy guy, but I knew that they weren’t mine! These dreams were too analytical, too full of calculations and things that could go wrong. So, I thought that maybe Sunshine over here was getting a little too lost in his own room with all that dark edginess and loud music and I, being an amazing person, went to go check on him!”

“Which is when I had left my room to go check on Princey,” Virgil explained, taking the opportunity to tell his own part of the story before Roman could. “Because I was getting all of these sudden gross feelings-y thoughts that were, frankly, incredibly anxiety inducing and exhausting. I went to go see what was going on with Roman only to find him right outside my room.”

“Like how you found us,” Roman quickly interjected.

Virgil and Logan both shared an eyeroll and Virgil continued, “So then we worried that something was going on with Patton. We thought, you know, maybe he got too caught up in his room or something and that we would have to go get him out. But-”

“-But it wasn’t Patton!” Roman interrupted, his excitement bursting out of him. Virgil shot him a dirty look but Roman didn’t falter, “Patton is in the Commons having the time of his life because I released some puppies about and-”

“You did  _ what? _ ” Logan’s eyebrows went to his hairline.

“- _ and  _ even we could feel his happiness radiating from there!” Roman continued. “So, now we are here in your room! Because it seems that you are finally unlocking the cage you have trapped around your emotions and we are here to help!”

“We should have known it was you from the start,” Virgil said with a shrug. “The thoughts were too thought-out. But, you know, we don’t really apply anything remotely fanciful to you.” A pause. “So… what gives?”

Logan sighed and sat down at his desk chair. “You didn’t figure out from the thoughts you received?”

Virgil shook his head and sat down on Logan’s bed, Roman following suit. “Whatever you were feeling didn’t give us super specific ideas,” he explained. “Mostly just  _ this makes no sense _ and  _ what if it’s not reciprocated _ and  _ I have no clue what I’m doing. _ Very not you, Lo.”

“And besides,” Roman said, leaning back on his hands. “We figured you would feel better if you told us yourself instead of us barging in here and screaming out your feelings.”

Logan arched an eyebrow. “Isn’t that exactly what you two did?”

Roman waved his hand dismissively. “Okay, maybe, but we didn’t shout any specifics. That has to count for something.”

Logan sighed with a shrug. “Perhaps.”

“So,” Roman said. “What’s bothering you, Specs?”

Logan didn’t answer. He didn’t even know where to start. Instead, he turned back to his desk and ran his eyes over the whiteboard again.  _ Ask Roman for help  _ written four times and crossed off four times.  _ Write a poem _ written twice and crossed off twice (if he couldn’t verbalize his thoughts, how could writing them be any better?).  _ Tell Patton _ written first and ferociously scribbled out.  _ Don’t say anything _ written once and never crossed out.

“Patton, huh?”

Logan nearly jumped out of his skin upon realizing that Virgil was shadowing him. He flipped the whiteboard over and slammed it back face-down, jostling everything else on his desk.

Roman arched an eyebrow. “Patton?”

“You know,” Virgil said. “I think we made a video that fits a situation just like this and I’m pretty sure I said some bullshit like ‘be yourself’ and it ended up being the best idea of the night.”

Logan felt his stomach drop further and further as he watched Roman quickly put the pieces together in his head. “Oh, that’s adorable!” Roman exclaimed. “You like Patton!”

Logan shushed Roman for fear of any heightened emotions catering to the heart (literally) would just call Patton here. And Logan was not ready to deal with that. Roman clamped his hands over his mouth but Logan could still tell that there was a grin behind them.

“I don’t know, I don’t know,” Logan rushed out. “I have no clue what’s going on and I have no clue what I’m doing.”

The grin fell off Roman’s face into a frown and his hands into his lap. Virgil furrowed his eyebrows. “That’s… not you.”

“Yes, Virgil, I am well aware of that,” Logan snapped. Virgil shifted his eyes and took a small step back. Logan then sighed and adjusted his glasses, pushing them back up the bridge of his nose. “I apologize for snapping at you, I just… this makes no sense.” He flipped back over the whiteboard, this time displaying it to his two companions. “Doesn’t none of this make any sense?”

Roman read over the mostly crossed off list before sliding a glare that contained little bite to Logan. “Just letting you know that I’m extremely offended that I was crossed off that list not once, not twice, but  _ four times _ .”

“I’m sorry, I just cannot think of a good idea,” Logan said, absent minded, as he read the list back over.

“Another blow to my ego, but it’s okay, I’ll live,” Roman said. “Because we are here to help! Even J.D-lightful over here!”

“I’m more here to be the realistic one,” Virgil interjected and Logan nodded in agreement.

“Still, it’s helping,” Roman beamed. “But your problem is that you’re being too methodical about it, Logan. Love,  _ attraction _ -” Roman corrected, which Logan appreciated as it eased his rising anxiety “-isn’t about science and numbers. It’s about how you connect with someone. It doesn’t have to make sense.”

“But it should!” Logan said. “I am Logic. I am supposed to be level headed and I’m not supposed to feel things. Doesn’t it strike either of you as odd that I’m…  _ feeling _ something?”

Virgil and Roman both shared a look and a frown before turning back to Logan. “Logan,” Virgil said slowly. “You know you’re allowed to, like, feel things right? Just because you’re Logic doesn’t mean that you’re some emotionless robot.”

“It’s what we told Patton,” Roman said. “You don’t have to hold back what you feel. Feel what you feel and don’t apply so much logic to it, Logic!”

Logan sighed with a shake of his head. “Redundant and a pun,” he criticized. “And I don’t even understand how I would go about expressing these feelings.”

“You could tell him,” Roman suggested.

Both Logan and Virgil pointed to the scribbled out  _ Tell Patton. _

Roman rolled his eyes. “It does not have to be that difficult. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Everything,” both Virgil and Logan said.

Roman pointed at Logan. “Hey, I can’t lose you to the dark side,” he said. “Try to stay remotely positive, at least.”

“We’re just being realistic,” Logan said. “So many things can go wrong, not that they will happen, but they can and I should be prepared for all outcomes.”

“Well, don’t think so much!” Roman said.

“Roman, I’m Logic, I’m-”

“Oh my god, we are literally about to have the same conversation again,” Virgil said with an eyeroll. “I think we all understand at this point that you’re Logic and you don’t know how to understand the things you feel, we get that part. We also all know that you have no clue what to do, and that Princey over here is ready to get you an engagement ring. So, now here’s a thought, instead of making up ideas that you would never do in the first place, like writing a fucking poem, you take my bullshit advice and just be yourself.”

“But don’t you think that a grand romantic gesture would be nice?” Roman raised an eyebrow.

“Sure, if it was you,” Virgil said. “But it’s not. And this is Patton we’re talking about, you both realize that, right? Patton would probably explode with happiness at anything Logan does.”

Logan opened his mouth to disagree, but then realized that Virgil was most likely right. Out of all of them, Virgil hung around with Patton the most, and would therefore know best what he liked and did not.

Logan sighed and leaned his head back, staring out of his skylight into the sky above him. “Virgil, I cannot believe that you’re the one who figured out a sound and reasonable plan.”

“What can I say,” Virgil said. “I can be surprising.”

\--

Logan quickly found that “being himself” was, in his opinion, an awful idea. “Being himself” was vague; it had no real base. What if who Logan was was not someone Patton enjoyed?

(Yes, Logan realized how illogical the statement was. Patton rarely ever showed distaste with who Logan was, but Logan was, frankly, very stressed and not very objective.)

It also did not help that Logan was finally able to put a name to the things he felt upon seeing Patton. Now knowing that it was attraction and not just an unusual, sudden heightened anxiety, Logan became more aware of how nothing made sense.

He could finally admit, at least to himself, that he was, perhaps, attracted to Patton. That much was undeniable; it would be illogical to try to. He felt a type of connection to Patton that drew him in and was different than what he felt towards the other sides. While he did, for the most part, enjoy the other sides’ presence, Patton was more enamoring to Logan.

So, a third of Logan’s problems were solved. He knew what he was feeling and came to accept it. Now it’s just figuring out what he was doing and how to prepare for things when they inevitably go wrong.

_ Not inevitably, _ Logan thought from where he currently was on the couch, correcting himself. He had long since stopped paying attention to the book in his hands and was, instead, staring at words while not reading them.  _ While there are things that are inevitable, this is not one of them. My own anxieties have just tricked me into thinking that things will go catastrophically wrong because of how long I have worried about this. _

He sighed to himself and finally closed the unread book. He tapped his fingers erratically on the hardcover, staring off into nothingness with his eyebrows furrowed in thought.

_ This should all be quite simple, _ he thought. _ Either Patton reciprocates what I feel, which would be the best outcome, or he does not. It should be an incomplex situation, a fifty-fifty split. Yet, it isn’t. There is a range of what could happen if Patton doesn’t reciprocate. He could distance himself to avoid further awkwardness. He could pity me. He could, rather uncharacteristically, laugh at my failure. There is also a range of what could happen if Patton does reciprocate. I have never dealt with these emotions before. What if I mess everything up? What if Patton is disheartened by my lack of experience? Patton is the heart, the emotions. He knows how to deal with attraction. I, however, do not know what I am doing. I don’t think that I would be good enough for him. I- _

“You’ve been staring at that wall for a while.”

Logan’s body jolted and whipped his head to the side to face whoever interrupted him. Virgil stood in the doorway from living room to kitchen, an eyebrow raised at Logan.

“How long have you been standing there?” Logan asked, composing himself. He slowly, carefully, set the book down on the coffee table.

Virgil shrugged. “A while,” he said. “You looked pretty deep in thought.”

“I was,” Logan agreed. “And you interrupted me from it.”

“Because I had a feeling you were about to spiral down into some logic induced methodical break down,” Virgil said. “I’m supposed to be the anxious one here, not you.”

Logan sighed and flicked his hair, which had fallen, out of his eyes. “I thank you for your concern, Virgil, but I was just thinking.”

“About what?” Virgil approached the couch and sat down on the other side of it, leaning against the armrest.

“I think you know what,” Logan said quietly, looking cautiously around. While in his own room, he generally had enough privacy from the others unless he was experiencing heightened emotions. However, in the Commons, others could easily overhear what was going on if they so desired. The last thing Logan wanted was to voice his thoughts, let alone Patton intruding on them while doing so.

“Okay, I know it’s probably really hypocritical coming from me, but you don’t have to be so stressed,” Virgil said.

“You’re right, that was hypocritical coming from you,” Logan noted and Virgil rolled his eyes.

“I just don’t think you need to be so stressed out,” Virgil continued. “I mean, really use that logical brain of yours and think: what’s the worst that could happen?”

Logan narrowed his eyes at the anxious side. Those were words that Roman had thrown at him a couple days back and, then, both Virgil and Roman disputed them. “That’s a very sudden shift from what you thought a couple days ago,” he said suspiciously.

Virgil shrugged. “I just think that the actual worst that could happen isn’t that bad,” he said, picking at a loose thread on his hoodie. “I mean, it’s  _ Patton _ .”

“It’s Patton what?”

Logan then decided that the most logical thing he could do would be to stay in his room forever.

“Oh, Virgil and I were just having a discussion,” Logan said, suddenly more interested in adjusting his tie and not in Patton, who was in front of the two of them. In an attempt to divert the conversation from anywhere but where it started, he continued with, “So, Patton, what brings you here?”

“Well I just saw that you both were here,” Patton said, taking a seat. “And Roman’s in his room brainstorming away and I didn’t want to disturb him, so I came to see what you two were doing!”

“I was just telling Virgil of a project that I’m working on. Really, I should be getting back to work soon. A lot is to be done,” Logan lied without much thought. He ignored the way that he could feel Virgil’s stare on him.

“Oh, Lo, you gotta make sure to give yourself a break,” Patton said with a frown. “It’s not good for you to constantly be overworking yourself.”

Logan sighed and stood. Despite not looking at him, Logan knew that Virgil’s eyes were still boring into him. “Perhaps,” he said. “But I had actually taken a break for once.” He tapped the hardcover of the book on the coffee table before picking it up.

“Are you sure?” Patton asked, his eyes following Logan’s every move. Logan suddenly felt like his movements were more robotic and willed himself to keep his composure as he gathered his things. “I was thinking of putting on a movie,” Patton continued. “You could rest for a little while longer?”

“I thank you, Patton, but I really must get back to work,” Logan said. “Of course, I will make an attempt to join you the next time.”

Patton nodded at that and gave Logan a smile. “You know you’re always welcome,” he said. “And that we’ll be down here for whenever you need another break!”

“I’ll try to make it down here once in a while, considering that a break is the best for an optimal performance,” he said before sinking down into his own room.

The lie felt heavy and bitter in his mouth and, now, Logan couldn’t quite tell if it was better than expressing what he felt.

\--

When Logan returned to his room, he tossed the book onto the foot of his bed with a sigh before sitting against his headrest. He stared up out of his skylight and into the sky bursting blues, dusted with oranges and pinks. 

Subjectively, that went terribly.

Objectively, it still went terribly.

Logan decided that he had most definitely did everything wrong, and that while he was still bursting with feelings that he did not understand, he doubted that anything he did made Patton feel something. If anything, Virgil was currently cringing at Logan’s inelegant display, and he feared that he hurt Patton by disappearing so quickly.

He did not know how long he sat there, staring up at the sky slowly changing from the blue of the afternoon to the orange and red hues of dusk. The colors stood stark in contrast against the blues, blacks, and greys of his room, and he was so enthralled with losing himself in the change that his heart actually jumped when there was a knock on his door.

“Logan, it’s me,” Patton said from the other side of the door. “Can I come in?”

Logan hesitated, staring at the door and knowing Patton was on the other side. Patton, after Logan’s display, still came to see him. Even after he rushed out, talking about a project that didn’t exist, Patton still showed up to Logan’s door.

No wonder Logan felt this way.

“Come in,” Logan finally said.

Patton slowly opened the door and stepped inside Logan’s room. He gave Logan a gentle smile.

“I came to see if you were doing alright,” Patton said, quietly shutting the door behind him. “Virgil said that you were really stressed.”

Logan nodded. “Yes, stressed about that project.” He hoped his voice carried enough confidence to make it seem like the discarded book on the foot of his bed was enough to call a project.

“About something that’s actually happening and bothering you,” Patton corrected, his voice soft. Logan felt his cheeks flush at being called out for his lie and he pulled his knees up to his chest.

“I… apologize for the dishonesty, Patton,” Logan said quietly, looking anywhere but at his companion.

“It’s okay, Logan,” Patton smiled at him. He moved the book aside and sat cross-legged in front of Logan. “I’m just,” Patton then sighed and his smile melted away into a frown. “I’m just worried about you, Lo. You’ve seemed really tense lately, and I need you to know that I care about you. You know you can talk to me if something’s bothering you.”

When Logan finally looked to Patton, his words caught in his throat. He opened his mouth only to close it and, instead, push his glasses up the bridge of his nose. His hair fell down into his eyes and, before he could do anything, Patton reached forward and gently combed it out of the way.

The soft touch set every nerve in Logan alive and he sprung up from the bed so ungracefully that he stumbled backwards upon his feet hitting the ground. He felt something sharp and painful spike through his chest at seeing how hurt Patton looked, but any words he wanted to say got lost on their journey from his brain to his mouth.

“I-I’m sorry, Logan,” Patton stammered, his expression desperately concerned. “I didn’t mean to offend you-”

“No,” Logan said perhaps too loudly. He cleared his throat in hopes of calming himself down. “I’m fine, Patton.  _ You’re _ fine, Patton. I have just been slightly stressed, as sometimes happens. A bit overwhelmed, but I’m fine. It is all things that I can work through as time progresses and then the stress will not be so consuming. I’m fine.”

“Say  _ I’m fine _ one more time and I might believe you,” Patton said quietly.

“I…” Logan trailed off and ran a hand through his hair. His eyes wandered around his room for something logical, something that would tell him what to do. However, his whiteboards were blank and the setting sun up above him had yet to release the stars for Logan to consult. When his gaze finally fell back upon Patton, he realized that Roman had been right. There’s nothing logical about attraction. Nothing methodical and nothing to be calculated. It was unscientific chemistry and the first time Logan couldn’t make an analytical, foolproof plan. It was all about who the people involved were, and in this case, it was Patton and Logan. It was undeniably illogical, but it would be just the same if Logan refused to say anything.

“I find myself rather attracted to you, Patton,” Logan finally began. “I know that it makes no sense, considering that I am Logic and, therefore, supposed to be the one who doesn’t quite… do emotions. I really do not understand how this works. I believe it’s quite obvious that I’ve never felt anything like his before. But, Patton, you’re different. Typically I am not a fan of change or letting things run off the desired course but… this, I don’t mind. I only ask that, if you don’t reciprocate, you say so now so that proper amends could be made.”

Patton gaped at him and Logan immediately felt the gravity of his mistake. He opened his mouth to continue speaking, to ramble out a messy apology before confining himself to his room because Thomas could do videos without him physically present, Logic isn’t a feeling it’s the physical representation-

His train of thought screeched to a halt when Patton stood and slowly approached Logan. As Patton grew closer, Logan could see the light dusting of a blush on his cheeks and how his eyes practically sparkled under the light from the skylight.

“I can see the gears turning in your head,” Patton said with a light laugh. They were close enough where Patton was whispering, yet Logan had no trouble hearing him.

“It’s what I do,” Logan said, his own voice barely filling his room.

“You do more than that, though,” Patton said. “You _ can _ do more than that. You always deny yourself feelings but… you _ feel  _ Logan, I know you do. Sure, it may not be like the rest of us, but that doesn’t make it any less real. You’ve told yourself for so long that you can’t feel things, but that’s only hurting you further, Lo. You don’t have to hold yourself back, or think that feeling things is stupid or wrong. Take it from me, I mean, bottling up your feelings never leads to good things. You can show emotions around us, Lo, and still be our brainiac!”

Logan shook his head in disbelief, staring at Patton. “I don’t think anyone else sees me like you do.”

Patton beamed. “I just care about you a lot, Logan,” he said. He then offered his hands to Logan and Logan, with minimal hesitation, took them. “But you know that we all care about you, and we all want you to take care of yourself and not be afraid to feel things.” Logan nodded along with Patton’s words and Patton’s smile, somehow, shone brighter and he gently squeezed Logan’s hands. “And yes, I do.”

Logan furrowed his eyebrows. “You do what?”

“Reciprocate.”

Logan blinked at Patton and Patton just stared back. “Oh,” was all Logan could manage out.

Patton leaned his head back with a laugh. “After that whole heartfelt speech you gave, all you can say is _ oh _ .” Logan sputtered and felt his face flush, but Patton only continued to laugh and Logan realized that Patton was blushing, too. “Adorable.”

Patton then took one of his hands away from Logan’s and cupped Logan’s cheek. “Can I?” he asked, his voice suddenly soft. Logan, his own voice trapped in his throat and his heart pounding against his ribs, nodded.

Patton smiled before bringing Logan towards him, pressing their lips together in a gentle kiss. Patton’s other hand cupped Logan’s other cheek, both of his hands now carefully framing Logan’s jaw. Logan, after only a moment’s hesitation, lightly latched onto Patton’s shirt, keeping the other close.

When the pair pulled away, Patton rested his forehead on Logan’s.

“Not so scary, right?” Patton asked.

Logan shook his head. “Not at all,” he admitted.

“I know this all is new to you,” Patton continued. “We don’t have to rush any of this. It can all be at your pace.”

Logan let out a small breath of relief and a smile formed. “I appreciate that, Patton. Quite a lot.”

Patton beamed and grabbed Logan’s hands again, squeezing them tightly. “I have to say though, Logan,” he said. “I’ve had a bit of a crush on you for a while. I kinda kept it to myself because I didn’t really want to pressure you? But now things are working out! It’s funny, though, I actually talked to Virgil about this a couple days ago and he was very encouraging. I guess even he had a good sense of intuition for this!”

Logan suddenly, very clearly, understood why Virgil’s plan had suddenly shifted from “everything can go wrong” to “what can go wrong?” and he made a mental note to have some strong words with Virgil.

“Coincidentally enough, I had a very similar experience,” Logan laughed instead. Confronting Virgil about the fact that he could have saved Logan from his own anxieties would just have to be postponed until another day.

Logan had something,  _ someone _ , much more occupying on his mind.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!!! as always, kudos and comments are appreciated!!! :D <3
> 
> ethospathoslogan.tumblr.com
> 
> (main: actuallygansey.tumblr.com)


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